Lyrics
She’s got a cabinet full of miracles Thirty bottles deep and counting Salt water from Utah for forty-nine ninety-nine She says the molecules are “signaling” I say it tastes like pool water But someone’s cousin’s neighbor beat cancer So who am I to question the divine
Don’t worry, don’t worry She did her own research Facebook group with eleven thousand members Can’t be wrong
Oh, she’s got oils for the ailments That the FDA won’t acknowledge Shampoo made her hair fall out But that’s just detox, that’s just detox The WiFi router’s gonna kill us all The detector says we’re in the danger zone But the microwave reads two thousand And we just bought another phone
She says the next one is the real one This time it’s gonna change everything I just need to get in at the ground floor Three friends deep and I’m basically a CEO The shampoo company got sued but They settled so it doesn’t count And therapeutic grade means something Even if they made the term up on their own
Don’t worry, don’t worry She did her own research YouTube video with a chiropractor Can’t be wrong
Oh, she’s got oils for the ailments That the FDA won’t acknowledge Shampoo made her hair fall out But that’s just detox, that’s just detox The WiFi router’s gonna kill us all The detector says we’re in the danger zone But the microwave reads two thousand And we just bought another phone
Lavender for anxiety Frankincense for tumors Peppermint for everything else And if you sign up under me You get ten percent off your starter kit Which costs three hundred dollars But it basically pays for itself If you just recruit your mom and your sister And your book club and your cousin And everyone you’ve ever met
Oh, she’s got oils for the ailments That the FDA won’t acknowledge Shampoo made her hair fall out But that’s just detox, that’s just detox The salt water’s gonna save us all The molecules are signaling tonight And the garage is full of boxes But the next one’s gonna be the one Yeah, the next one’s gonna be the one
She did her own research She did her own research Bless her heart She did her own research